Tag Archives: parenting

The unique challenges of having a blended family


The princess has decided lots of things over the last two weeks.

  • Princesses only wear clothes they deem pretty enough.
  • Dresses and poofy skirts are the only things pretty enough for princesses to wear.
  • If mommy puts pants on or goes near the clean laundry pile, she is clearly trying to escape.
  • If mommy goes to the closet, she clearly needs wardrobe assistance. Princesses should always pick mommy’s clothes to the proper princess standard. See the item above.
  • The baby eats mommy but it’s okay as long as the princess is overseeing to make sure the baby doesn’t accidentally eat mommy in a way that is ouchie.
  • Freckles are ouchies.
  • Breakfast is for losers.
  • Screaming is extremely effective.
  • Cheese is the only important food group.
  • What used to be the favorite breakfast food, apples & cinnamon oatmeal, does not have cheese. See items above.
  • Anthony’s name is now daddy.
  • Mommy’s house is “home”.
  • Cows may say “mooooo” but baby cows say “Awwwwwww”

Princess Zoey has officially started calling Anthony daddy. I feel like I’m treading in an emotional minefield. This is a huge development, especially as her attitude towards him has pretty much been that of “you are my substitute mommy until mommy is here and then I act like you are the prince of darkness and you hang me upside down by my toes and make me eat vegetables”. We had a long talk about this when we decided to get married and both agreed that it would be Zoey’s decision what she wanted to call him and when. I’ve referred to him as “Anthony” to her until we started getting into the gray area. A couple of weeks ago we were sitting on the couch and she pointed to him on my phone background.

“Who’s that?”

“That’s Anthony, baby,” I replied. She made her thinking face that she picked up from him, screwing her mouth around to make it look like she’s chewing on her lip.

“Who’s that? Daddy?” She said, pointing again.

“Is it daddy?” I asked her. She thought for a moment again and then nodded.

“Daddy.” The word didn’t appear again that night, or most of the next day until Anthony was headed for the store. Zoey looked up at him as he was leaving and waved.

“Bye bye daddy.” For a moment I thought he was going to explode he smiled so big. She got forehead kisses and a “Bye bye baby.”

Until she went back to her papa’s, I continued to refer to him as Anthony to her, worried that if I switched too soon I would be making a change she wasn’t comfortable with yet. The next Monday she surprised me with continuing to call him Daddy. We made the transition as well, and now Anthony is “Daddy”. We refer to Isrrael as “Papa” here to avoid confusing her, but she doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with it.

Of course, Mommy is still preferred to snuggle with over Daddy, but her feelings toward him are easy to see. She’s sad and wants to text or call him if he leaves for work before she wakes up, and asks after him when she deems he’s been at the store for too long. It’s a delicate balance, and one that will continue to be delicate for a long time, but at least she’s setting her own pace.

And papa invited me (plural!) to the birthday party he’s throwing for her. We’ve also managed to have several casual conversations. Can you say “progress”?

At the rate she’s picking up new words lately, I wouldn’t be surprised if Zoey could!